Grooms Duties On The Wedding Day

Grooms duties on the wedding day help to ensure a smooth and enjoyable day. In a previous post we looked at Wedding Planning 101 For Grooms which deals with getting involved in the planning. Today we look at the groom’s role on the wedding day itself.

Wedding Day Timeline

One of the most important of grooms duties is making sure that you know what should be happening and when.

Clothes & Grooming

You’ve got your outfit and you’re happy that it fits – right? (see Wedding Planning 101 For Grooms) Make sure that it’s ironed – even James Bond can’t get away with a creased dress shirt and DJ! Polish your shoes. Put everything ready the night before so that you can relax without worrying about it.

You will probably have your hair cut a few days before the wedding. It goes without saying that hair/hands/nails should be clean on the day.

Have a change of clothes either for emergency use or to leave in after the reception. A handkerchief is also a must – you might think you won’t be overcome with emotion, but …..

The Rings

As mentioned in Choosing Your Bridesmaids and Groomsmen your best man is someone you trust implicitly. High up on the list of grooms duties is to make sure that he has the rings on the wedding day ready for the appropriate time in the ceremony. If you’re having a ring bearer I would strongly advise you to use substitute rings. Keep the actual rings safely in the BMs pocket just in case anything should happen to the rings on the cushion!

grooms duties - ring cushion

Bride’s Gift

As mentioned in a previous post you are, of course, responsible for giving your bride a lovely gift on the wedding day.

The Speech

Unless you are a seasoned speaker I would advise against winging it with your speech. And even if you are a seasoned speaker your wedding day is going to be more emotional than a normal day. Therefore you could well forget what you wanted to say. At least have a few bullet points/notes as a safety net – and practise. I have witnessed an off the cuff speech that went horribly wrong – painful to witness!


There may well be expenses to pay on the wedding day. It’s  another of the grooms duties to make sure there is enough cash to cover these. Go through the day/timeline with your partner a few days before and work out what will need to be paid on the day.


Stag do the night before your wedding? Not a great idea! You’re going to want to have a good time, and you’ll need to recover afterwards. Try not to over indulge the night before the wedding – having a hangover for your wedding day is not cool. A quick snifter before the ceremony might help to steady the nerves, but too much and you could be slurring your vows. Or you might not remember the ceremony at all – do you really want to forget the most important day of your life? Same goes for the reception – enjoy yourself but make sure you remember it for the right reasons.

Make sure the groomsmen know that they shouldn’t over indulge too – especially if they’re making a speech. A slurred best man speech isn’t pretty to witness either. One thing you could consider is to have the speeches at the beginning of your reception rather than waiting until the end of the wedding breakfast. That way anyone making a speech gets it over and done with and can relax and enjoy the rest of the day.


Don’t forget to eat. Sounds ridiculous but in the excitement and hustle and bustle of the day it’s easy to neglect yourself. Passing out from lack of food is a no no.

Grooms duties - food

Groom not Guest – Chatting & Dancing

Behave like a groom, not a guest. Talk to all your guests, even if you don’t really know them. They’ve come to celebrate your special day with you and deserve to be acknowledged, even if it’s very brief. You should also be available to say goodbye to guests at the appropriate time.

Your mum and your grandma will be thrilled if you take them for a spin on the dance floor! Include them and possibly other female guests such as aunts to make it memorable for them.


Being a groomzilla is not conducive to enjoying your day. Negative energy breeds negative feelings. Take time during the day with your partner just to enjoy it. It will go by so quickly, and after all the weeks and months of planning you want to be able to remember it. Think of a few minutes alone with your partner just observing the celebrations as pressing pause on a remote. Those snapshots will be memorable.